“Help me Obiwan, you’re my only hope.” A forgotten request?

Princess Leia is dead. Han Solo, 14 years older, lives on. Paradox? Too damn right it is, and Star Wars IX is scuppered by the look of it.

The year 2016 has given itself a name, it’s as bloodthirsty as they get in our time. It has slain a few of my close family friends and a whole list of celebrities. Is this the new standard in its obligatory ‘butcher’s bill’? Kill off at least 20 well known TV and Music stars.
+++++There’s a common vein running beneath all of these famous deaths, a common thread of habit which is interwoven and that’s substance abuse. Linked to this are mental health issues. Carrie had started the journey to her ‘untimely’ death from the age of 13 when she began to smoke ‘pot’. It didn’t help that her parents were also celebrities and that this was in the late 60s
+++++Carrie even did a line of coke on the set of The Empire Strikes Back. I often wondered why Princess Leia looked invigorated on the Hoth set.
+++++Being remembered for the character you played in your last film can be a curse, especially when the film becomes the 3rd biggest grossing film in history:

  1. – Gone with the Wind (1939) – $3.3bn
  2. – Avatar (2009) – $2.78bn
  3. – Star Wars (1977) – $2.71bn

Not only did it become a legendary film, but it set off a craze, spinning off games, costumes, films, cartoons, conventions, a religion, books, and the list goes on. When Carrie is referred to as Princess Leia and hounded by Star Wars fans of all descriptions it must be something out of a zombie movie. She’s the only survivor whilst the whole world wants to get at you. I’m not surprised she had mental health problems. Expectations of people remain and when they see you in 2015 and comment on your appearance? Time seems to have no meaning to some fans and the effects of the human body like ageing not an issue i.e. it shouldn’t happen. You’re meant to remain the same person you were 38 years earlier.

Carrie Fisher, then and later. RIP.

+++++Is this a ‘blood sacrifice’? An option, like take the red pill or take the blue pill : the red pill is selling your soul to the devil and becoming rich & famous; and the blue pill is remaining anonymous, happy and long living. These people had an option, though I’m not sure they knew what would happen – perhaps if they’d seen the effects of stardom on others’. Carrie may have seen the effects on Elvis and thought maybe she didn’t want this. She chose to do something she loved and that was to perform for an audience. At least the actors in the 16th Century playhouses didn’t have the problem of millions of people hounding them due to a lack of technology.
+++++There’s a blood sacrifice in everything you do, a trade off, some more severe than others. These celebrities do things that take a mental toll, look at Michael Jackson, Prince and George Michael. They’d all done drugs and toxicology reports many had remaining habits. These were young deaths by today’s standards:

Carrie Fisher – 60

Michael Jackson – 50

Prince Roger Nelson – 57

George Michael – 53

With the blood sacrifice, there’s the identity crisis, there’s the persona you’ve been told to keep and uphold. Just who you are and were, is of no significance to the fans who come to see you and puzzle at the grimace you make as you hold on to your side and walk off the stage.

Thomas Ligotti, Ignorance and Celestial Pond Life

The hills around here are spattered with sheep and in their flocks weave dogs and children. 20130307_Chapple3smoking butterflies They’ve been living off these hills for centuries and will for more to come when our grandiose empires have crumbled into political and moral decay.  Their humble existence will outlast us when our Facebook and Mobile phones will become a distant memory.  I stand atop a hill and take in the upward panorama of stars that arc from east to west.  A bright moon highlights the inky blue field in a fulgent glow, the likes of which I haven’t seen before. Am I to stay here and die before the celestial audience who are years away in vast exponential distances away riding on light, bent and twisted beyond measure and comprehension.  I would not mind if I expire here, rather here than a place filled with concrete.  Here there is no struggle, there is existence – maybe existence is too easy.  Maybe, I should struggle and strive to become more and better.

The struggle to keep on going.  It’s about that isn’t it?  We’re all struggling and pushing against resistance.  It’s the resistance that makes it worthwhile.  It’s where our heroes are born; out of hardship and resistance.  If there was no evil, then there would be no good.  Then again – that’s all a load of shit, isn’t it?  Did Josef Stalin think he was evil?  What about Colonel Gaddafi or Saddam Hussein – both had their hands shaken by British Diplomats.  I bet they didn’t think they were evil… therefore I conclude that Good and Evil doesn’t exist.  It’s just a different form of opinion.  I bet some crazy mass murderers didn’t think they were doing something that was called evil.  Noticed how I automatically called a mass murderer crazy.  What if that mass murderer thought that everyone else was crazy?  If opinions were lines drawn in the sand then those that crossed ours would be crazy.

I’m just starting to read Thomas Ligotti’s ‘The Conspiracy Against the Human Race‘ and it’s a fucking depressing, wild and tragic journey into Tom’s mind. smoking butterfliessmoking butterflies The cafepelicanmeaningness of human life and how inconsequential it is.  Millions of interactive beads tearing at each other and multiplying like tadpoles.  When I look into a pond and see it shift and blur as something skits over its surface I think of the empires and conquests made under the thin veil that separates water and air.  Then I think of the others who look into the bowl of space where Galaxies stir and die.  Something else is staring at the whorl of stardust that is us and thinking the same and thinking how insignificant we are, if we ever existed or if they ever had technology to see us.  I think the best way to deal with it is, just carry on normal jogging, or ‘Stay calm and carry on’.  Make the best of it and don’t make too much fuss, unlike Josef and Adolf in the 1940s.  Back to the book; it disconnects everything we give order to, like numbers and time.  I broached the subject of numbers and questioned whether we should be doing things in 10s.  Time on a lower, manageable, visible level is done in 60s and that’s linked geographically, mainly to the sun’s relation to Earth and those imaginary segments we split the planet into .

There’s a possible counter argument to the whole meaningless of it all, the philosophising about it, the deep thoughts and discussions.  zkzegarek2Maybe those that ramble on about it, shouldn’t be here and maybe they should go off and find some place to talk amongst themselves.  Perhaps we need to ignore the horror of the truth and blind ourselves in religion and self consciousness and righteousness.  So what, if we’re nothing more than mere particles interacting with each other, destroying and screwing each other into cycles of birth and destruction.

I recently listened to a guy who went native and spent 2 and a half years with no money whatsoever.  I mean he wiped his arse on used newspapers from the local newsagents.  He cycled 65 km a day to the town to do his business (Not sure what location is 65km from the nearest town – maybe city) and that was his Gymnasium submission.  It was an experiment of sorts for himself I think and he reflected on his time stating that it was perhaps the best time of his life.  He gave up the banks, the TV, the Laptops, the Internet (fuck!!) and Takeaways and pints of lager in the pub.  He lived in a caravan and cooked off a stove.  He said that we as chinks in the social armour are dependent on systems created by ourselves to self sustain.  I thought, that would be a good idea, but it would be nigh on impossible as I have a family and I would lose that if I went native too.  I supposed we are prisoners.  Prisoners to the nearest Mobile Charger point, the social network, to the TV, the Kettle and Nectar Points.  To be able to free yourself from that or ripped from it due to some unexplained catastrophe would be an mental and for some a physical ordeal.  I was fortunate to experience some of this from my time in the Army and that does help, but what of those who are not used to the idea of shitting outside and eating vegetables freshly dug up from the ground rather than GM shite from the supermarkets?  Change or starve.

I once ventured into the relevance of money and worked out that it eased our transition to becoming worm food.  Wow, what a horrible thought, eh?  We’re harvested for the worms to eat?

The north of Iraq is certainly improving, its roads and cities are being prepared for tourism.  There’s even a couple of family parks called ‘Happy Park’.  Might take a bit of getting used to and I think the locals need to start getting their road safety campaign up and running as they’re nearly as bad drivers as Italians (fucking lunatics).

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